Grey areas of sexual assault and rape. What are they? How do you cope with a situation like the following? I stumbled across this post while browsing through fellow Tumblrs sites. This was an anonymous question posted to the “uarenotalone” tumblr page (and is what I hope WTR will become a safe space for).
Throughout my four years of college, I’ve heard stories like this, not all of them exactly the same, but with similar threads. There was drinking involved. Someone who was considered a good, trustworthy friend did something. So what are the ‘grey areas’ here? Living in a rape culture where victim blaming is prevalent, this may not seem to be rape to the people involved. Would the “good friend” consider it as such? Would the “friends” who were watching consider it as such?
The Anonymous poster here obviously had the foresight to post it on the Tumblr page- but she remembers nothing, which complicates the situation more, and is obviously very uncomfortable with the situation. I’m not entirely sure that the “#rape #victim #survivor” hash tags are of her own making (more likely, that of the tumblr owner). Would she be quicker to call it rape if it was with a stranger, something she remembered, and she wasn’t intoxicated? How do you think she’s going to negotiate this topic with her husband-to-be? What will he think?
I don’t necessarily have answers to the questions that are raised in a situation like this, which makes it even more difficult. But calling attention to these grey areas is incredibly important. Just for this woman to have a place to post about that is incredibly important.
What are your thoughts?